Welcome, Beloved!

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  • Fixable? Figure-out-able? Or Surrender-able?

    A friend at work is just beginning the journey of caring for her father who is diagnosed with Alzheimers and Dementia. We spoke yesterday through a wonderful mix of tears, shared pain and encouragement as the work  continued to buzz around us. I shared how my family dealt with it, some of the things we learned, some of the very difficult things, and some of the hours and blessings. I even admitted how it is still a source of wrestling in my prayers with the Lord, that I’m sometimes ashamed of the times that it was too much for me to handle emotionally at times and I had to distance myself from the situation, and how it challenged my faith in difficult yet beautiful ways.

    This morning’s YouVersion Bible app Daily Verse is very applicable:

    For context:

    ‭Philippians 4:4-7 NLT‬
    [4] Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! [5] Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. [6] Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. [7] Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

    https://bible.com/bible/116/php.4.4-7.NLT

    A cousin posted this morning, “Im trying to be strong, just don’t know how much longer it’s gonna last….” and I was reminded of the story of a young boy struggling with all his might while his father stood by watching.

    https://kimberlyjoyauthor.com/using-all-your-strength/

    I let him know that this story was helpful to me and I shared the link: https://kimberlyjoyauthor.com/using-all-your-strength/

    So many times, I’ve thought too myself, “It’s okay. Everything is fixable.” Or “It’s okay. Everything is ‘figureoutable’.” But there are times where it isn’t. There are times when it is too much for me. There are times where it is too much for a good therapist or even a good support system to help me through. I need these times to truly reveal that I am not self-sufficient, that I am not without need for God to play His role in my life. As hard as those moments are and have been, they are also sweet and precious.

    Sometimes we get past “fixable” or “figure-outable” to moments that are truly only “surrender-able”.

    Lord, I’m sorry that sometimes I’ve kept you at a distance, living my life trying to figure out and fix everything on my own. But please don’t let my shame of not including you let me think that you’ve been far away. You’ve been there the whole time, watching me learn, and letting me grow, waiting patiently alongside even when my focus was fully on my task at hand (or distracted). Help me to not cry over my weakness but to instead be in awe at your strength and faithfulness and love to be by my side through it all. Amen.

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